continued.

The weight of my secret pressed against my chest like a cement boulder. Was I out of my mind to think that I could have done this? I allowed my feelings to overpower what I knew couldn't really be.  

I will continue this perfect fantasy until the time is appropriate and then we will part our ways. I will enjoy you as you will enjoy me (my perfect me). I know you will not stay if you knew the real me. Sooner or later you will. You must. I just pray that I do not hurt you in the mean time. 

The happiness that you have brought me within the past two weeks have been more than I deserve. I am nothing. A girl who has loads of uglies and a deep dark secret. Therefore, I am truly grateful Oh Insignificant One. 

continued.

I have a plan. One devised by the assistance of a "friend" to get rid of you. You are too good to be true and therefore, you must go. It will work. It must!

I am falling in love. In love with the idea of falling in love. In love with the person who loves me for the qualities that I am not. Dejavu huh!?! I refuse to have history rewrite itself on my account.

It may seem as though I am so eager to get rid of you. A part of me has gotten attached to you, Oh Insignificant One. You have come into my life as a breath of fresh air, giving me new ambitions and dreams. Utopia!

...hahaha Utopia!? If only I could, just.. No, I can't. You must go. Because I have a secret.

continued.

Usually my secret is buried in a deep dark hole within myself. After-all, in the world I live in, its about appearance more than reality. Pretty hair, white smile, size 0 waist. I am everything but that.

I have a secret--one that no one would be able to reach, so I thought..

If I focus on burying it deeper and deeper within myself, maybe my secret will not be exposed. "Umm, I did mention that this relationship cannot be anything but superficial, right?"