Insignificantly Significant

I am in love with you 'Oh Insignificant One'. In love with you on a level that isnt superficial (well, sort of).  I am in love with who you are. The idea of you has captured my heart and soul. Yet, I feel as though I don't even know you . Who was this person that I am so deeply falling for?

Just as I have been keeping secrets from you, I feel you are doing the same. Up until now, you have not revealed your face to me. I have seen a few pictures here and there. And your voice I have not heard. Would I be presumptuous if I asked for such things considering I, too, have my own secrets I am hiding? Maybe you are waiting for just the right moment to ask. You do not seem to be one with many secrets. I could be wrong, considering you are not like the typical men I have come across.

"You need some sleep, you say?"
"Yes, I need to wake up in a few hours."

I don't want you to go but I couldn't tell you that. I knew you needed your rest. You did not sleep very much the night before because I kept you awake. "I just hope I will wake up." It was just then that my secret was defeated by my curiosity. I wanted to know! I longed to find out who you are. As I typed the words that'll change our relationship forever:

"Do you want me to give you a missed call?" My palms became so sweaty. Did I cross a boundary you did not want to?!! I hope I was not too forward.

continued.

I have a plan. One devised by the assistance of a "friend" to get rid of you. You are too good to be true and therefore, you must go. It will work. It must!

I am falling in love. In love with the idea of falling in love. In love with the person who loves me for the qualities that I am not. Dejavu huh!?! I refuse to have history rewrite itself on my account.

It may seem as though I am so eager to get rid of you. A part of me has gotten attached to you, Oh Insignificant One. You have come into my life as a breath of fresh air, giving me new ambitions and dreams. Utopia!

...hahaha Utopia!? If only I could, just.. No, I can't. You must go. Because I have a secret.

continued.

In today's world you must be the person everyone wants you to be not who you truly are otherwise you will not make it very far. I did exactly that, for a while. 23 years and some. Whenever I meet someone new, I introduce myself as they would want me to introduce myself as. Making sure to omit every "ugly" detail out so that the person would be happy. So that this ineffectual person, can be pleased. So that this person does not have to deal with my lack of a ℽ-sarcoglycan.

"My name?" Does it truly matter. Our relationship will always be just superficial. "You can call me what ever you would like". After-all, it truly doesn't matter because its about your happiness not mine.

Intro-I have a secret..

I am not the girl I was several months ago.

I have a secret. A secret which I have shared by a few. A secret which is obvious. One who looks at me would not consider my secret such a secret but it defines me. It does not define me to what society today has written. Or does it? My secret is much more than that. My secret is not written and can not be seen. It is not told by society's misconception of me.

Several months ago I was a confident girl who knew where she was heading. I knew my future and all that was in it. I did not dare let anyone break down the stone walls that I have put up.  I needed these walls to protect me from today’s world and the people who were in it. If today’s world got  a hold of my secret I would be ruined.

I buried it deep so that no one would reach it. That’s what I thought

 

This is the emancipation of i, me if you think it sounds better...